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October 27, 2004

don't buy the candy too far in advance

A note of warning: this post reveals my manic self. If you want to continue to read this blog under the illusion that it is written by an even-keeled, normal (!even!), person, this post will shatter and sully that ethos.

I wanted this list to be a post of regrets and mistakes I've made this week. I've neglected the blog. I haven't run in three days. I still haven't started up a blog for my research. The new (to us) couch Brian brought back from his mom's is still in the truck because I haven't had a chance to clean and rearrange the living room. Blah blah blah. It seemed like I had a pretty good running total, until I realized that such trivialities are trumped by the very biggest mistake I made this week:

I bought our Halloween candy on Sunday. The candy that we're supposed to pass out when kids come to our house. I bought it on Sunday.

Well, no, it's not all gone. Not yet. The reason it's not all gone is that I bought (literally) 10 bags of candy. I bought 10 bags because we live in a small village in a mostly rural county, and the stretch of our road in the village tends to get an enormous amount of trick-or-treatin' traffic since the country people bring in their kids by the truckbedful, drop 'em off at one end of our street and pick 'em up down at the other. My neighbor warned us that they get upwards of 200 visitors each year.

So I figured I'd better be prepared. And I figured that, for once, I wouldn't wait until the last minute to get prepared. In fact, I thought I was being responsible! Organized, even. I thought I was saving myself the later stress of hurrying out Halloween afternoon to scavenge the last meager bags of Smarties and Dum Dums.

So, on Sunday last, a whole week in advance, I bought $16 worth of Snickers, 3 Musketeers, M & Ms, Reese's Sticks, and Crunch Bars (no crap candy from my house! no eggs or TP or pumpkin smashing here!).

Now, I sit sadly amidst a myriad shiny wrappers. It's not my kids, or my brother, or even my husband who has built this mountain of refuse. It is I. It is me. Whatever. I am so fuzzed out on chocolate right now (and have been since Sunday) that I can't even remember which (I? Me?) is correct.

I tried moving it to the top of the refrigerator. I took the grocery bag and SLUNG it up there. 5 hours later, I'm dragging a stool in from the dining room (a la Jackson), climbing and teetering and grunting to retrieve it. I'm darting furtively to escape recognition; I'm hiding (snack sized! so conveniently hidden!) the small treasures in my SLEEVES, surreptitiously unwrapping and trying NOT TO CHEW so visibly that the many little people with whom I share my life don't notice and ask WHAT ARE YOU EATING?? Because if I happen to ever move my mouth in a near-chewing manner, I have 4 of them on me, prying my lips apart, asking for a bite. And if they know I've dipped in to the stash, it's fair game.

Damn. I need a Crunch bar.

Posted by mryonker at October 27, 2004 10:14 PM

Comments

Posted by: Anastasia at October 28, 2004 10:05 AM

Posted by: bitchphd at October 28, 2004 11:16 AM

Posted by: Susan at October 28, 2004 12:48 PM

Posted by: Derek at October 28, 2004 02:11 PM

Posted by: Michelle at October 30, 2004 11:17 PM