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November 14, 2004
buddhism and motherhood
For a non-school project--whenever I get time (haha): buddhism and the Western (American) Mother.
So many things in our culture don't allow for (or contradict entirely) the core precepts of Buddhism. Now, I don't proclaim here to *be* Buddhist; I have only read around a little, meditated a little, and have mostly pined for the simple life that following the eight-fold path would be. Plus, I'd have trouble with abstaining from things like caffeine, especially in light of my current addiction to Dunkin Donuts extra cream extra sugar.
One thing I notice with the kids in my house is competition. I've blogged briefly about my aversion to agonism in the past , and it's something that, given more time, I'd like to pursue a little more carefully. Now, I'm probably mixing up my Eastern philosophies (and even as I write this, I think I'm bleeding into Taoism), but getting my kids to understand the idea that the "tallest tree gets chopped first" (ie, being the "best," "fastest," etc isn't always a good thing) would really be helpful to me.
Kid 1: I danced better than you today, Kid 2.
Kid 2: No, you didn't. You had to do that jump thing twice. She made you line up again.
Kid 1: No, the good people have to practice more than the people who aren't as good.
Kid 2: No, if you have to do it again, it means you didn't do it right the first time.
LATER THAT DAY
Kid 1: I'm first!! I finished my dinner first!
Kid 2: Yeah, because you shoved the last four bites in your mouth at once.
Kid 1: Yeah, but I BEAT YOU!!
Kid 2: Moooom!! Kid 1 is talking with food hanging out of her mouth!!
Granted, if I could be a calm, non-competitive, model, I might be able to infuse the household with calm, lovingkindness. But when my response is normally:
Mom: Y'ALL QUIT FIGHTING AND BE QUIET AND DON'T TALK TO OR TOUCH OR LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER OR I'LL... (stop the car, take your plates away, sit you in the corner, etc etc).
Not too much lovingkindness in that.
Other moms looking for enlightened motherhood:
MOM & Pop Culture : i am the buddha mom.....
Posted by mryonker at November 14, 2004 01:24 PM
Comments
this is unquestionably a dificult delema. Interest in any spiritual application while embroiled in life with children already acclimated to western culture only results in frustration. A serious example of counterproductivity.
I just used the time to get my feet wet. When the kids get bigger, you'll have a leg up, maybe.
It helps if you share your epiphanies with them on a regular basis, tho. Even if you don't think they can grasp the concepts? they get it more than you think. And also they make really great faces--and it distracts them from whatever competition you've interrupted, however briefly.
Plus they talk to you about stuff when they grow up!
Posted by: bb(mom) at November 14, 2004 10:10 PM
curiosity (for when you have more time on the web to play with--ha ha, right?!): here at this handy url you can answer a bunch of multiple-guess questions and get a whole lot of information about your and other peoples' spiritual alignment as it compares to somebody's take on how the labels are currently used.
http://beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html
here's me: looks like i'm w/you & we didn't know it! next time we go to ithaca, i think we need to bring back little stone buddhas for our office spaces.
1. Mahayana Buddhism (100%) 2. Neo-Pagan (92%) 3. Unitarian Universalism (90%) 4. New Age (89%) 5. Liberal Quakers (87%) 6. Theravada Buddhism (84%) 7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (73%) 8. New Thought (70%) 9. Hinduism (70%) 10. Sikhism (69%) 11. Taoism (68%) 12. Scientology (60%) 13. Bahá'í Faith (59%) 14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (58%) 15. Orthodox Quaker (57%) 16. Secular Humanism (51%) 17. Jainism (50%) 18. Reform Judaism (48%) 19. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%) 20. Jehovah's Witness (35%) 21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (32%) 22. Nontheist (28%) 23. Orthodox Judaism (27%) 24. Seventh Day Adventist (27%) 25. Eastern Orthodox (18%) 26. Islam (18%) 27. Roman Catholic (18%)
Posted by: tyra at November 21, 2004 05:22 PM
I have a question: Do you know of a mother's group in Salt Lake City for mothers interested in learning from one another about how to implement Buddhism/Spirituality into motherhood? Thank you!
Posted by: Kristen at March 2, 2005 05:24 PM