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November 01, 2004
self-effacement
1. Eating leftover thick-crust ham pizza and orange juice for breakfast makes midday heartburn a sure thing.
2. Clark bars are gross (but to throw away a candy bar, even if only snack-sized, is unthinkable).
3. You cannot keep books from old lit classes: Sexing the Cherry, All the King's Men, Steven Millhouse (or Edwin Millhauser or WTFever), Orlando, Ulysses and nearly 25 more are all sitting in bags ready to go...? To the Rescue Mission. You cannot keep stuff. (You're keeping Borges and Faulkner! that's it).
4. Asking the neighbor kid whether he wants a plate of dinner or not is a waste of your breath. Just plate it up and send him to wash with the rest of them.
5. Calling your husband worthless on your blog, and then leaving it open on his machine, and then expecting him not to react or get mad (even though the post was REALLY about his redemption!!) is asking for domestic turbulence.
6. When carpet is removed, you actually have to BUY something else to put in its place. (It's gonna be laminate).
7. After you run 13 miles, and you're hurting and hurting, and your neighbor knocks on the door the next day to ask if you want to run, and you're proud and more afraid of being called a wussy than you are of injury, you are a dumbass and say "Sure, I'll be over in an hour."
8. When the neighbor kid leaves his (filthy, nasty) socks in your house, you are afraid that returning them without laundering them reflects poorly on you.
9. You watch _Desperate Housewives_ with wicked shame, secretly envying the perfect redhead's domestic flair.
10. The best way to forget you're supposed to be preparing to give a mini-talk on your current research project during a program colloquium in two days: blog.
Posted by mryonker at November 1, 2004 05:38 PM
Comments
Mmm...Clark bars. And I think you should keep Winterson, not that I would want any part of talking you into keeping stuff already bagged. STC made the trip with us from KC.
Posted by: Derek at November 1, 2004 08:45 PM
Yeah, I do this nearly twice a year, when I get this urge it "simplify" (hehe) and start throwing shit into bags. The books are the first in.
I frequently wimp out and palm several AS I'm handing them over to the station attendant ("ooh, I forgot I NEED this one...").
As a friend assured me today: "They're just paperbacks, right?"
Uh, yeah. Mostly. The Norton Anthologies aren't, but nearly everything else is.
Posted by: madeline at November 1, 2004 09:33 PM