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December 29, 2004
the holidays are like having a baby...
... mostly in the sense that they SEEM like a good idea during the time leading up to them. That is, thinking about having a baby is fun, you get to shop for a bunch of cool stuff, you get to decorate in anticipation, everyone else is really happy (for you), etc etc.
But then you actually have to HAVE the holiday. And you've had a holiday before, but somehow you forgot that holidays are *painful*. They require an inordinate amount of work and time. And when you're done, you're bloated, sluggish, and wishing you did things a little differently (wish I had that epidural!!)
I always look forward to Christmas with a childlike anticipation--and then I suddenly realize I'm not a child anymore and that all the magical things I remember from childhood Christmases *I'm* the one who's responsible for creating, and the magic kind of crashes.
We spend Christmas with Brian's parents, who live in SE VA. Brian's mom does a fabulous job of making me feel like a kid again. :) There are always a glut of presents, a glut of food, and inappropriate remarks made in the presence of children (this year's involved sucking a beer down as though it were, well, the body part of another person).
It's to the point that I feel like next year I will have to school my kids BEFORE we come on how to open a present:
1. Note tag and the giver's name.
2. Unwrap with zeal, making sure to remark on the creative choice in wrapping paper.
3. Choose from several stock phrases ("Wowee, very cool." "I wanted one of these!!" "How did you know??" "I can't wait to try it.") to express pleasure with gift. Do NOT sigh or say "I don't think this is really for me."
4. Thank giver BY NAME (rather than singing "Thanks!" into the air and throwing the gift aside) and with some sort of physical recognition (hug, kiss, etc) if the giver is present.
5. Watch at least two people open a present before tearing into your next one.
6. Do NOT ask "Is that all?"
7. Do NOT ask "How much did this cost?"
Because my kids broke ALL these rules this year. At least once.
And Jack's birthday is 3 days after Christmas, so he is nearly out of his mind with present-opening.
In other holiday news: we escaped CNY thinking we would have a nice mild vacation here in SE VA. Well, it turns out we had SEVEN INCHES of snow the day after Christmas. People do not drive well here in such conditions, and there are few plows to clear or salt roads.
And finally: to those of you who read this blog and worry with my mental health: just because I sound unhappy or because it appears I'm clinging to the BAD events it's because the bad stuff is interesting and funny. The good stuff ("Hey! I got a new jog bra for Christmas!!") is less interesting.
Posted by mryonker at December 29, 2004 10:30 AM
Comments
Oh, I can totally relate. In many ways, I'm relieved to have Christmas over with. Because then the kids will go back to school and I will have the house to myself for two WHOLE weeks before the my semester begins.
Posted by: jo(e) at December 29, 2004 04:50 PM
you can always come to MY house. We don't care how the kids open their presents, or what they say about them. We don't care how much work you do or don't do. We only had 1 inch of snow, and I think it was 40 degrees outside. I would never make you feel inappropriate or unanything, and we won't suck ANY beer at all. I cuss, tho, and do occasionally mention that body part you don't want your kids to hear about. Sorry.
Posted by: bb mom at December 29, 2004 05:56 PM
The rest of the world had snow, EXCEPT central New York!
Posted by: senioritis at December 29, 2004 09:41 PM