I'm a little concerned about these categories. Like, why is taking time for yourself (which you rarely do) "bad"? Wouldn't, in fact, a mom who *never* takes time for herself likely be categorized as, say, psychotic? ;)

Yeah, as I was writing them, I realized that all the "bad" things were actually things I felt guilty about, but weren't necessarily "bad." Brian wondered why it was "bad" that I asked Jack's teacher whether she was concerned about his hearing--and it's because I feel bad. Bad that I've been suspicious about Jack's loudness for some time, and here I am making like I hadn't thought of this before. Because if I said to her, "You know, I've noticed that he's pretty loud at home, too, and I've been meaning to get his hearing tested, but I'm a BAD MOM and simply have not gotten around to it yet."

But that long-ass explanation didn't really fit in with my nice truncated list, ya know? :)

"laughs when MT sneezes thick chocolate-y Luna bar spittle all over Wal-Mart floor": If I'd been there, ida laughed even harder. Specially since it was WalMart.

Decide that angry, disapproving stares from seemingly "perfect other mothers" are your intention. This way you take pride in the simple, and I might add, NATURAL activities of your children; pride in your ability to shock the masses without any effort whatsoever!! Not to mention the elimination of that ever-pervasive and highly destructive element of guilt that you hold on to so dearly and ressurect at every slight opportunity.

News flash: There are no such things as "perfect other mothers". Remember: the things that bother us most about other people are the very things that we ourselves are guilty of. Each and every angry disapproving stare is an indication of serious dysfunction there.

You are NOT the epitome of bad mothering, sorry.

good mom: makes the rest of us laugh and envy your skillz, time-management, optimism, & composure by showing us all these vivid, funny, gooey wal-martian behind-the-scenes pictures of supermaddie when she's not flying around the office in her writing program diva cape.

Good Papa: Spends 1/2 hour supervising 4 year old chopping broccoli for dinner
Bad Papa: Let's same watch sponge bob square pants and jimmy neutron to catch up on lost time
Good Papa: Takes 9 year old to Harry Potter on opening night at 10:35 PM (you promised in 2003) as work makes the early show impossible
Bad Papa: Sends 9 year old to school w/o breakfast because he's in a rush to get to work

Bad papa divided by good papa=good enough papa(Winnicot)

Hey, Robert--does that math work for good teacher/bad teacher ratios, as well?

ok I feel like a bad mom this past week, I have a 2 year old that is in the phase of whining for everything and anything. She no longer talks; she squeels and when I try talking to her and ask her what is the matter the pitch tone escalates. I just want to disappear. I am 6months prgnant and my toddler is driving me INSANE. I have never been away from her, but now I want to take a 1 day break. She dosent want to sleep in her own bed, she kicks me out of bed or wakes up with a tantrum telling me to get out of bed and that bed is not mine. I have tried putting her in own bed, but I can only do this about 20 times of getting up and placing her back in bed. Her father does not even care that another child is coming and her sleeping in her own bed is for her OWN GOOD, am i wrong thinking this? ANY advice outthere???????please Im desperate.

I'm sure we are all good parents. Do we love them? Does what we do for them express our love? That's what these kids are interested in, not our neorotic obsessions. All they want, at the end of the day, is our unconditional love. I'M SERIOUS. Don't give up on your kids. They just want you to believe they are okay. Please take care of your children, all the days of their lives, no matter how old they are. Okay? And when they grow up, make sure they have a nice room at your house and if they so choose, can live with you when they go to college. Also, please be friends with your children. This is what they want. They want to tell you things, to be able to trust you. Please don't hurt your children. PLease take care of them, the best you can, all the days of your lives. In the end, they are all that you have...

Love always, from a girl who knows, :)

Jamie