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October 28, 2006
leave it to your loved ones...
...to make short order of any resolutions you try to make.
Since I posted yesterday, people (on and off this blog) have tried to:
encourage me to RUN. Good gravy, can't a person quit a bad habit? What if I were trying to quit smoking? Or biting my nails? No one would say, "Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. You should certainly KEEP that stress-relieving distraction in your life."
encourage me to CUT MY HAIR. This from my mom and sister--my mom who just cut her hair today and my sister who is gearing up to do so. And I know something for a fact: when one cuts her hair, the first feeling she has AFTER the enormous regret is huge envy of those who have managed to resist the urge to cut theirs. Well. I know for a fact that if I do cut my hair now, I will NEVER finish my dissertation.
encourage me to blog. After I performed a quick recount of last night's trip to the mall to buy "hockey gear" (three kids and two adults who have no idea what the hell a first-year hockey player needs--this was our motely crew), I was goaded by my audience: "Blog! Blog! Blog!"
So, I may keep running. And, obviously, I'm still blogging. But I AM NOT cutting my hair.
No one, oddly, has encouraged me to do my laundry. They might, though, if they manage to sit too close to me (my socks are a little ripe).
Posted by mryonker at 06:37 PM | Comments (2)
October 27, 2006
things I've let go
Geeky Mom posts today about what she's given up to dissertate.
Her list looks A LOT like what mine would look like.
Laundry, and virtually all major house cleaning projects.
Social stuff. I'm NOT inviting anyone over to my house this winter. NO ONE. I love you all very much, but I'm not having any get togethers this winter. My poor little-J, who turns 3 on Halloween, will NOT be getting a birthday party. I'm not going anywhere I don't absolutely have to (and of course "absolutely have to" is up for liberal interpretation on my part--but I am sticking to it, dang it).
My hair. It's getting too long, but I admitted to Runningburro today (during an "absolutely have to" lunch date) that I have a secret deal going with myself that I will only cut my hair after I am done with my dissertation. Rb said, "OK, but you're gonna look like Crystal Gale."
Thanks for the vote of confidence, there, Rb.
Running. Aside from the fact that B is taking a class that meets on Sundays and this prevents me from registering for any races, I am only going to "run for fun." Which means, I may not ever go at all.
Blogging. I plan to be judicious in my posting here. That post I conjured yesterday while frying tofu ("the only food I'd eat if I lived alone": fried tofu, Ramen, Doritos, margaritas, cream cheese and salsa, cream cheese on bagels, carrot-zucchini soup [w/ cream cheese]...), will never be written, nor will I post the pictures of big-J "Bread Box" in his hockey get-up, nor will I ever post about the antics of Lucky George Muttley, the Reversible Deaf Kitty...
I may have to let go of the sitting co-op next semester. I'm finding that even though I love my co-op friend, and that her kids are often great distractions for my own kids, the smallest hunks of my schedule that it takes up might actually help me out if I had them to myself. We'll see.
There's also a list of things I will not let go.
Eating. Duh.
Friday night movie nights with the kids, and other essential hanging out with my mugwumps. Tonight it's She's the Man.
Showering. And I may have passed on my penchant for showers-so-hot-you-can't-breathe to H. I got in as she was getting out this morning (yes, we play the great shower relay in my house every morning. Fun Stuff, Man), and I couldn't believe how hot she'd made it. Or, it might be that her skin was numb from how cold it is in our house, and she was trying to revive her corpse-like body...
Yoga. The only problem is that yoga is *really* hard to do in a messy, cluttered room. And I don't have any rooms that aren't. Not only does the clutter make it hard because there isn't really any space for you, but also the clutter kind of works against the whole "calming" purpose.
Teaching. Of course.
***
So, say it with me. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
Posted by mryonker at 05:00 PM | Comments (6)
October 26, 2006
i (heart) marathon narratives
Running Jayhawk has her marathon story up from Chicago (last weekend?).
The best line?
"Your feet are hurting because you are kicking so much ass."
That one's for Runningburro.
Posted by mryonker at 08:55 PM | Comments (1)
October 19, 2006
new (to me) free yoga podcast
Yoga Today is a newish (June 06 launch) site that offers free one-hour yoga classes that you can subscribe to like a podcast (if you're using iTunes). If you are on a PC, you have to have download a program I'm not familiar with, I'M (Instant Media), that seems to want to work like iTunes in terms of retrieving and managing subscriptions, but when I tested it on B's new machine, it took a good long while to retrieve today's hour-long session (and we have cable internet). When I moved over to the mac and used iTunes, things were much speedier-quick. Now the picture is (understandably) not as great and wonderful as it is on B's 22-inch wide screen LCD monitor (why I started out on his machine in the first place), but I'll deal.
Of course, I haven't actually *done* today's session because I have the co-op kids. Also, yoga is sometimes hard for me to get to because one is really not supposed to practice unless one's stomach is nearly-empty, and mine is practically NEVER nearly empty. In fact, when I feel a little space clear, I normally find something to put there. Right now, it's taquitos drizzled with melted-cream-cheese-and-salsa.
I'm not running right now because my left foot feels like I have a stress fracture. I have an acute tenderness in the entire front part of my foot, both top and bottom. It hurts (but it's not debilitating) to walk, but also hurts in a nagging sort of way even when I'm not standing or walking on it. I suppose if it doesn't go away soon I'll have it looked at, but the discomfort has been in and out since the Wineglass over two weeks ago. It hurts especially today, probably because I did a good deal of walking around campus yesterday.
At any rate, I'll be sure to post a review of the sessions after go through a couple. It's got to be good, I'm thinking, since the instructors tape the sessions in a place called Jackson's Hole, Wyoming.
Posted by mryonker at 03:05 PM | Comments (2)
October 15, 2006
oh, my bloglines will be full of bold
I would commit to this (a challenge to blog once every day in November), fussy's take on nanowrimo (the challenge to write a novel, I think, during the month of November).
I may or may not be able to actually blog something substantial every day here at academom, however, I am going to take the challenge up over at zerodraft. And I won't be publishing over there *every* day, but at least 5 times a week.
So there, I've taken what could have been a time-consuming, quite distracting charge and turned it into a mandate to GDD (get diss done). Actually, I shouldn't even say GDD, it should be GWDOD (get work done on diss). Because DONE, my friends, is a LOOOONG way off.
long. way. off. *sigh*
Posted by mryonker at 09:28 PM | Comments (2)
October 13, 2006
social software symposium
OK, I need to figure out a way to get
The event will be a two day exploration of two burgeoning areas of social software: folksonomy and social networking websites. Drs. David Weinberger (Cluetrain, Small Pieces Loosely Joined), Nicole Ellison (MSU) and Cliff Lampe (MSU) will be featured attendees.
Dang. I really should try to go...somehow.
x-posted @ zerodraft
Posted by mryonker at 11:25 AM | Comments (5)
October 09, 2006
it's. not. fair.
I am in the second floor lounge of our student center, running mid-term conferences. It is 70 degrees out, the sun is blasting through these south-facing windows, and I am yearning for a nice walk in the out-of-doors.
However, my students are smart and bright and sunny, they're enjoying this crazy goose-chase of an analysis essay I'm making them write, and I have a new macbook. So I do have things to celebrate.
It is supposed to snow this weekend. Gah.
Enjoy Deb's race report (below). And for the record, I did not start calling us "team yonker," one of those fellow running buds did. The irony, of course, is that as a team we are motley: one of us has a heart murmur, one of us has asthma, and one of us is completely bio-mechanically inefficient and crooked. More aptly put, we are "team gimpy."
Posted by mryonker at 11:54 AM | Comments (5)
The Wineglass Marathon…The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
The Good: This is a mighty fine marathon in oh so many ways. It’s scenic, it’s flat(ish), it’s not too far from home, and the food at the post-race party makes me sad that this is only a yearly event. Let me just say that the countless calories that I burned whilst running 26.2 miles were all immediately consumed again (thrice over!) during my gluttonous soup/pizza/banana eating frenzy. I do not even care for minestrone soup, but one would never have guessed that, given the sheer number of beans and noodle bits clinging to my happy sweat soaked face. Ummm…minestrone. And the chicken noodle was stellar, as well.
Screw the food, though. TEAM YONKER ROCKED!!!!!!!!! We truly were the definition of speed, and this time we mean it. We shaved a cumulative 1 hour and 48 minutes off of our Buffalo times!!!! One hour and forty-eight minutes, people! To an elite Kenyan runner, that’s nearly an entire marathon! We passed countless people who were super-fit looking, and we did it with relative ease. This appealed very much to the small demon who lives within me – the one who whispers sinisterly in my ear, “Run her into the ground! Kick his ass!” each and every time a starting gun is fired. As a kindergarten teacher, I think I give the outward appearance of one who values teamwork and sharing and playing nicely with others. Sadly, though, this is not the case. While I may look like I am ready to break into a rousing rendition of “Five Green and Speckled Frogs” at the drop of a hat, in all actuality I am planning the demise of all runners within my near vicinity. Typically, I am unsuccessful in this goal, but at the Wineglass the gods smiled down upon me long enough for me to pass 40-Year-Old Virgin-Man, Chicken Legs and her partner Worm Dude, and Dr. Rock. (I freely admit that I am a monster, and acknowledge that the dehumanization of my fellow runners is a very foul thing. The aforementioned cruel nicknames refer to a first time marathoner, a 60-ish couple - one with shockingly skinny legs and the other with painful looking varicose veins, and a professor of geology at a local university. All fine people, I am sure, but when that nasty demon rears his ugly head, my transformation is utter and terrible.) My primary adversary, however, was none other than Oprah Winfrey, and I kicked her ass, too! Woo-hoo!!! Okay, okay, Oprah wasn’t exactly there in the flesh, but her Chicago Marathon time some years ago of 4:29 was first and foremost on my mind. She may have her Steadman and billions of dollars, but I have my Chuck, and a PR of 4:04:59! (which I will NOT, under pain of death, round up to 4:05)
The Bad: Nothing comes to mind. This was truly a great race, and someday we will all qualify for Boston here. (Okay, maybe not this year or next year, but someday, damn it!!)
The Ugly: Just three things come to mind - the bloody nipples of the man outside the Corning YMCA, the creepy 9-11 mural amateurishly rendered on the wall of our restaurant, and the cinder block walls of our Budget Inn hotel room.
The Good, Continued: Pardon, please, the syrupy sentiment, but I am awed and impressed by my Team Yonker teammates. They set a goal, then work like hell to reach their goal. They encourage and motivate and inspire and amuse – just read their blogs if you think I’m kidding. “Slack jawed locals” and feminine napkin chafing is some funny shit, I tell you. They share their Cup ‘O Noodles and their sports bras, and I can’t wait ‘til our next big run! GO, TEAM YONKER!!!!
Posted by at 10:23 AM | Comments (1)
October 06, 2006
i can't help it, sorry
Nels used a great word a few days ago:
embiggen.
I'm a huge fan of word-creation. Here, he turns an adjective into a verb. And I love making words into verbs. Reading this word today MADE MY DAY. (Well, my day wasn't all that, see.)
Plus, the comic he posts is a funny Dilbert one about authorship (Bex will appreciate...) AND it reminds me (because it refers to a white whale) of a Weird Al Yankovic song that I haven't heard yet but I'd like to:
"White and Nerdy" (parody of "Ridin' Dirty").
Because I grew up on "Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch." And "King of Suede."
Plus, I like nerds. But you all knew that.
Posted by mryonker at 09:23 PM | Comments (3)
October 05, 2006
the GOOD ponderosa
The Ponderosa in Cortland, NY, however, is all that it should be.
Long live cheap sirloin and ranger cookies.
Posted by mryonker at 11:27 AM | Comments (1)
October 04, 2006
happy team yonker
Posted by mryonker at 11:18 PM | Comments (0)
not for the faint of heart
So, the good old runningburro beat me to the punch in posting on the race from this weekend.
I, however, have PICTURES.
So. The important thing to remember about this race is: 1. Being on your period does not mean that you cannot run races, 2. If you are hit and killed by an errant black SUV on the course, your student loans WILL BE FORGIVEN, and 3. All nouns can be verbs.
On #1: [FAIR WARNING: #1 offers detailed discussion of running a marathon while menstruating. Please skip to #2 if you are faint of heart or are easily grossed out by the term "feminine napkin. Proceed at your own reading risk.]
The careful dosing of Motrin to alleviate the excessive cramping that accompanies the monthlies actually helps a runner in that it may alleviate other pain in other places. Note here that I say "careful dosing." This means that you not only must dose the night before, but also mid-race. AND while you're dosing mid-race, be careful not to also dose the lint that might try to steal its way from your Nathan pack to your mouth. Because lint will make you gag and require you to stick your tongue out at an entire water stop full of volunteers.
Also, if you are of an unfortunate population of women who are limited in their use of feminine accoutrement, please make sure you pack vaseline in your Nathan. The repeated scraping of a "feminine napkin" on the sides of your legs will start you bleeding in other places unless you have a plan to reduce said friction. Also, even if you ARE willing to dip your mitt into a vat of community vaseline and swab your privates in public (as I gleefully was around mile 6), the damn water stops will probably not have said vat of community vaseline (even though it was PROMISED). Further, if you are running hard enough, as it appears Rb and I were, you might find that you actually STOP bleeding altogether, and that you can remove said napkin around mile 16.
On #2: If you are ever a motorist who happens to be driving through or past a race-in-progress, please remember this: your frustration in being held up is much easier to deal with than a murder charge, so please suck it up and drive AROUND the runners. To the driver of the black Durango who nearly killed me at the mile 4 water stop: next time watch the F out. I was wearing an orange shirt for pete's sake. And yes, I understand that if I die now I will never have to actually write a dissertation, nor will I have to repay my student loans (and I would of course appreciate being absolved from both duties); however, I do have 3 children, a husband, and a TEAM YONKER that would certainly avenge my death.
Also, if a runner is walking out into traffic in front of you, waving her arms and flagging you down, it's not because she's running a car-jacking ring. It's probably because she needs help (if she didn't she'd still be running, duh!). All we need you to do is drive to the next water stop for us to let someone know to send help. We don't want to actually DRIVE your car or catch a ride or anything.
On #3: Around the halfway point, I ask Rb: "Are we Gu-ing before the next water stop?" Yes. Eating a Gu is gu-ing. It becomes a verb, and one of my favorite things to do is make nouns into verbs. But this also leads me into what I think is probably one of the most important details of this race: every time Rb Gu-ed, so did I. I asked her before every stop: "Water? Gatorade?" and whatever she ate/drank/did, I did. She had a plan, man, and it totally worked.
Even though it was supposed to rain. Even though our hotel room had cinder block walls (IT DID. WE ARE CHEAP, K?). Even though our pre-race dinner was not pasta, but instead an ill-chosen unearned Ponderosa (and it was gross. never eat at the Ponderosa in Bath, NY). Even though I was a cramped, bleeding mess. Even though.
I finished in under 5 hours.
Posted by mryonker at 11:13 PM | Comments (6)
Shuffling towards Corning: A retrospective of the race in which Team Yonker kicked ass and took names at the 25th Annual Wineglass Marathon
All pre-race signs suggested disaster. My pre-race 20 mile training run was horrific. The weather for the race forecasted 55 degrees and rain, rain, rain. And Madeline and I both started menstruating (yes, you heard me). We agreed simply to finish the race before they closed the chute (at 6:30hrs) and hoped for the best (but secretly expected the worst).
Race day
Bath, NY
5:45am
Temperature 50 degrees
Precipitation: none (but very cloudy)
We suited up (all of us sporting our fabulous long-sleeved Wineglass race tech tees under our even more fabulous short-sleeved tech tees [$12.98 at Target]) and ate what must be the true breakfast of champions -- Chicken flavored Nissin Cup Noodles.
We drove from Bath (where the race would start) to Corning (where the race would finish) and parked our car so that when we finished, we’d have easy and quick access to our vehicle. Parking the car at the finish would also be extra incentive to actually make it to the end of the race.
We took a race-provided bus back to Bath to the start line. It turned out that we didn’t even need to use the bus ticket for which we paid 5 dollars (and were warned by the race folks not to lose under penalty of death). Once at the starting area, we used the Port-o-Johns, drank some Gator-Aid (mixed properly, I might add -- not watered down like at the other marathon), and waited around in the cool morning air. We amused ourselves by (1) picking out people that we thought we might overtake on the course and (2) making fun of all the funny looking runners (who are -- us included -- a motley crew, indeed). We met some ultra-nice folks from Nashville who came to NY expressly for the race. They were wearing hats and mittens and sweatshirts and looked like they were freezing to death.
After the singing of the national anthem (performed by someone who sounded vaguely Josh Groban-esque), we were off. . .
Mile 1: Madeline and I convince Deb that if she is going to beat Oprah’s time (4:29), she had better leave us now. After several attempts to motivate us into joining her crazy endeavor, she takes off like a blue streak (literally. She would finish in 4hrs and 4min. A running goddess).
Miles 2-5: We settle into a rhythm that feels comfortable. At the first water stop (Mile 3), we take Gator-Aid. We meet some fellow runners during these miles. A woman in a red shirt (who we will later find out is Rebecca [note: all names changed to protect the innocent], a philosophy grad student); a first-timer wearing a CamelBack; and Andrea (ahn-dray-ah), a field biologist who spent some time in South Africa and who seemed to enjoy telling us that she “thinks of Africa as her real home” and she can’t wait to get back there because “we-are-all-so-papmered-here, life is more real in the outback,” yadda, yadda, yadda. Mercifully, she pulls ahead of us. By Mile 5, our main entertainment was anticipating the first bathroom stop, which I thought was at Mile 6.
Mile 6: No bathroom. Madeline sort of snarls a question at the water stop volunteers: “Do you know when there will be bathrooms?” Their response: Mile 9. It’s entirely likely that I transposed the number and I secretly feel bad for getting our hopes up.
Mile 7: (I think -- this could have been at mile 5. Madeline and I disagree on this point): Excitement of the worst sort -- we see a runner take a header and fall to the pavement. She doesn’t appear to be really hurt, although a small cut on her lower forehead/nose bridge is bleeding profusely. Another runner takes off the wounded woman’s WHITE nike hat and uses it as a compress. Madeline steals my emergency toilet tissue (which I had stocked up on at the start-line port-o-johns) and gives that to the lady to use instead of her $40 hat (which probably wasn’t that absorbent anyway). There’s a small group of us hovering around the poor woman (who is probably just mortally embarrassed and wants us all to go away). Madeline and another runner try to flag down a passing car to get some help (we are, after all, in the middle of nowhere), and one car that slows down to view the carnage (slack-jawed locals, probably on their way to church or something) just drives on by . They actually had to swerve around Madeline and the other runner to get past. We curse them heartily. Some other runners finally flag down a course patrol car, and it radios for an ambulance.
Miles 8-13.1:We maintain our pace. Run up hills and down. Marvel at the beautiful countryside and the friendly locals who have come out to work the water stops and cheer us on. The course is well marked, and I probably spend too much time bad-mouthing the Buffalo Marathon because of the contrast between it and the Wineglass. At the halfway point, we run through the hometown of Polly-O string cheese. I am bitterly disappointed that there are no cheese snacks at the water stop, or even a poor schmuck dressed up in a Polly-O mascot costume to dance like a circus bear and amuse us.
The sun comes out and it gets warmer. I am so glad that I decided to put on sunscreen.
Our time at the halfway point is 2:20 -- ten minutes slower than Buffalo, but we feel ten times better than we did at the same point in that race. We make a second pit stop, strip down to our short-sleeved tees, and continue on.
Miles 14-19: We meet back up with Ahn-dray-ah. And then we pass her. Bwahahahahahahahaha!
Miles 20-24: I start to realize that a sub-5 time is entirely likely. I get a bit excited. I keep this information to myself, lest I jinx our chances.
It starts to rain. And we don’t even care because we are in the last hour of what we expected to be a five hour battle with precipitation. After 10 minutes of sprinkling, the rain stops. My shoes don’t even get wet.
We pass through a water stop at which I see a chubby little kid eating NutterButter cookies. I make a comment like, “Yum -- those look good,” and the kid’s mother says (kind of menacingly, I think), “If you ask him for one, he’ll give it to you.” At the time, I thought that she meant that she’d force her kid to fork over some of his cookies -- kind of like a “learn manners via punishment” sort of thing. But it turns out -- as Madeline later informed me -- that they have scads of cookies at the water stop for the runners, and junior was just mooching off the water-stop snacks.
Oh yeah. Around mile 23 I start to get kinda tired. It’s only because I’m running with Madeline that I’m able to keep my pace steady. I decide that it would be physically impossible for me to run a marathon without her, which means that whenever I want to run one, I’m going to kidnap her for the weekend and force her to run with me.
Miles 25-26.2: We meet back up with Rebecca, the super-polite philosophy graduate student. She’d left us around mile 3 (around the time that Madeline dropped the F-bomb upon hearing that no, despite what the race fliers promised, the water stops were not stocking band-aids and vaseline.) We had speculated that it was Madeline’s potty mouth that had, perhaps, driven Rebecca away. But it turns out that that was not the case (we, of course, grilled her on this point. And as if to affirm that she was not the goody-goody that we took her to be, she mentions that “now would be a good time for a beer. Or a scotch.” Rebecca runs the last few miles with us, which is really cool considering that this is her first marathon.
When the final stretch comes into view, Madeline and I kick it into high gear -- we actually have some gas left in our tank -- and we finish neck and neck in under 5 hours: chip time 4:52:33.
What is next for the running trio? A sub-4 for Deb? A 4:40 time for Runningburro and Madeline? Tune in next time for more adventures of Team Yonker.
Posted by at 09:50 PM | Comments (2)