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August 28, 2007
deb's side of the story
[Editor's note: GROSS POST. Reader beware. The travails of the ultra-athlete are NOT PRETTY. You've been duly warned.]
Green Lakes Endurance Run (G.L.E.R.) = Good Lord! Enough Running!
(Please humor the author her overuse of the GLER acronym, and pronounce it in the voice of a crazed, piratical runner. Also, be not offended by frequent references to bodily fluids. Sorry – it’s just how I roll.)
Yesterday Madeline and I completed our most challenging run yet – a 50K trail run. We started out at the ungodly hour of 4:50 AM, so that we would allow ourselves sufficient time to reach Green Lakes State Park by 5:30. (The run did not officially begin until 6:30, but I could not allow the 5:30 AM continental breakfast to pass me by!) Madeline almost always provides transportation to our runs, but this time I drove. I am what one might call an anxious driver, and between my fears about my nonexistent night vision and those vicious, menacing deer who lie in wait for unsuspecting drivers, I was stressed before the race even began. Still, though, I was pumped. I had spent the previous two days preparing for this run the best way possible: Guzzling liquids, eating ravenously. GLER!
At the start of this run, M and I were grinning, lively, energetic runners. Thirty-one miles of rough terrain later, we were groaning, limping, exhausted runners (GLER!) It took us eight and a half hours to complete this run. Eight and a half hours!!! That’s an entire work day, people! I believe that there were a handful of 100K runners who finished before us, and the only 50K runner who I am certain we beat was a poor wretch with shoes comprised entirely of electrical tape. In our defense, however, we were expending our energy on staying injury-free rather than on being particularly speedy. We were what one kindly volunteer referred to as “tourist runners”, carrying a disposable camera in our pack and stopping for frequent photo ops. We read the numerous informative plaques which ring the lakes, we posed with
volunteers and stuffed animals on the Serengeti, we lingered at each aid station ingesting our combined weight in M & Ms, and we tried like hell (and to NO avail) to contain those pesky bodily fluids. Let’s just say that one of us desperately needed more toilet paper and less half digested salad [editor's note: I do not remember this. I've blocked it out] , whilst the other should one day realize that sanitary pads are decidedly un-sanitary and USELESS when one attempts to adhere them to sweat soaked underwear. With each step I took that vile pad climbed up my ass, lodging itself firmly in the small of my back. This called for constant readjustment involving digging my hands down my pants and cussing while M. provided lookout coverage. And that pad was FAST…far faster than me considering our relative sizes. I KNOW that if that pad was as tall as I am, it would definitely have beat me to the finish line. So while the graceful, long, endomorphic runners were effortlessly covering ground, M. and I were bleeding and shitting. Gastric liquid eliminations: runny! Gooey, leaky, exsanguinous runner. Goes like enema-ed: repeatedly! GLER! GLER!! GLER!!! And it would be great news if menstrual blood and diarrhea were the worst of our problems, but we also were suffering from hideous chafe (Grotesque lesions exacerbated by running - GLER!), an attack by a malignant blackberry bramble, inexplicable finger blisters, and general exhaustion. Growing listless – energy receding. Grieving lungs extremely resistant. GLER, already.
Somehow, despite shit, blood, rain, mud, and severe chafe, we ended up having a fantastic time. This is a stellar run, with good food, good people and a good location. Got legs? Enter race! GLER!!!
Posted by mryonker at 09:27 AM | Comments (1)
August 27, 2007
le ouch
The good things about the GLER:
I now don't have to run for a few days. Sanctioned (mandated, even) rest days are good.
It's over. And I did finish it.
The food. I've never been fed so well in my life: a buffet of delicious fresh fruit, turkey and cheese on wheat, candy, chips and pretzels, and all manner of technical electrolytic replenishment (gu, gatorade-like fluid, and even some crazy electrolyte tablets I've never seen). The post race lunch was subs from Wegman's. Good stuff.
The volunteers. I wanted to hug all of them, all the time. Especially the one guy at the bottom of the trail whose every muscle tensed in anticipation as I came careening toward him, completely out of control. Unlucky for him, I regained my balance (complete with arms up for "victory") and he did not get to actually catch me.
D. I can honestly say I would have had my first DNF with this run had it not been for her. My pleas for her to "just go on...I'll catch you at the next aid station" fell on some very stubbornly deaf ears.
The weather. It stayed overcast all day, sprinkled and misted during our second and third loops, and all-out rained on several occasions but only briefly. It was cool and lovely.
A regular marathon will now seem like a more reasonable distance. Because THIS run, this 50K, was damn near unreasonable.
Which leads me to "le ouch." I actually felt well-prepared for this distance--I just was not prepared for the terrain (see above where I nearly hit a volunteer). Had this been a flattish trail, or a road course, I'd probably be ok. But 31 miles of uneven terrain and where's-my-rappelling-gear type ascent/descent just about disintegrated my ankles. Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit. However, on one of the middle loops (it was four loops of 8ish miles; I remember the first loop and the last, but the second and third kind of blur together) D and I connected with a dude from the Syracuse Track Club that we'd met on the bus to the Boilermaker this summer. Dude was a volunteer, biking and hiking the course, manning the aid stations, and directing runners. He spotted us as we were making our way up one of the steeper ascents and decided he'd run with us to the next station.
Ha. Yes, he was the "fresh legs" I wished for (and be careful about that!). So, D and I ran with him briefly, and he told us a great story about the near-disaster that was last year's Halloween Bagel run. I wanted to hear the story, so I mustered what I had to keep up with him (D was having little trouble). In doing so, I turned my left ankle, probably on a tree root (pronounce that "ruht" in your head, please, to get the full sensory experience of my narrative) but really who knows what it was because I was not looking at the ground like I should have been. It was a quick turn, I didn't fall and D and dude did not notice. And it hurt a little, but many of my parts were already buzzing with small complaints. Not a big deal.
Until we were done. Now my left ankle is pretty messed up. The rest of me, all things considered, is quite well; I walked to and from campus today slowly but not in agony. I did ride the elevator down from my third floor class (going down stairs will be hard for a while--going up is not a big deal).
I recommend this run to ANYONE who is considering an ultra in the CNY area. It's got amazing support, it's fun (especially when you take a disposable camera!) and you can swim in the glacier-made lake when you're done.
I'd recommend some trail training, though. :)
Posted by mryonker at 03:23 PM | Comments (7)
August 25, 2007
gluuuuhergh
Tomorrow at this time, we'll hopefully be about halfway done with the GLER* (the noise Deb insists we'll make when we're finished. Gluuuherrgh).
I have been diligent in keeping to the pre-marathon diet: carbohydrates (potatoes mashed! potatoes grilled!) and protein (lots of chicken), no alcohol (except for when D's husband Ch. pours the occasional pina colada into me--but I only had ONE), and coffee.
Well, the coffee probably isn't really on the pre-marathon menu, but whatever.
I have luxuriated for the past two mornings, sleeping in and jogging only briefly to catch up with the boys as they ran ahead of me on campus yesterday, when I went in to copy my syllabus.
Yes, that's right: classes start on Monday. I teach the day after the GLER. I may need someone to meet me with a wheelchair to drag me onto campus.
*For those just joining us: GLER = Green Lakes Endurance Run, a 50K.
Posted by mryonker at 10:21 AM | Comments (1)
August 18, 2007
tapir
Today was the Fulton "Loop Around the Lake" 15K. With a field of probably 60 runners (and the majority of them running the 5K), this was by far the smallest race D and I have run.
Did I say it was small?
When the horn went off, I started out modestly. And the entire field passed me immediately. I didn't dare look back, because I KNEW every single person was in front of me. We ran down Route 3 in Fulton, out past the Y and the Cayuga campus and the roller rink. The traffic was pretty bad (does EVERYONE in Fulton drive an enormous Ford diesel?) and the shoulder broken, badly sloped, and covered in roadkill. I stepped on a (thankfully) dried up squashed turtle, that when it was living was probably the size of a small dog. There was also a mammal of some sort that I had to navigate around; it was so mangled I could only make out the teeth and jaw (which incidentally looked like Scrat's from Ice Age).
The head winds were horrible, but I suppose they were keeping me cool. Once we turned left past the roller rink I hoped the winds would quit blowing me backwards, but somehow the winds turned with us.
Or, really, I should say ME. Because this race was so small I was always, always alone. I was so alone, and so in the back, that around mile 2 I realized that one of the big diesel trucks whose exhaust I continued to huff was that of the ambulance. Yes. The ambulance that follows the LAST RUNNER at the ready, for when that LAST RUNNER drops dead.
I didn't feel like I was going to drop dead, though. My legs and muscles felt decent; I probably could have eaten more that morning (I'd only had a Power Bar, some apple juice, and not enough water). But my rebellious GI system decided that today would be a day of belligerence. So while I felt decent, anytime I picked up the pace even a smidgen, I was immediately uncomfortable and searching for some woods to jump in.
Only I had an ambulance following me. I was certain that if I hopped off the road into the woods one of the EMTs would have thought such an aberration alarming and therefore hopped out the truck to follow me or something.
The water stops were well-spaced, the volunteers friendly, and the course well-marked. I did get lost at the very end where we were supposed to know to take a right before the high school, and instead I ran into the parking lot. I had to turn around and run back, and in doing so found that I was NOT the last runner; another man was rounding the corner I originally missed, and so we ran the last mile or so together. I realized as we chatted briefly how much more enjoyable running is, especially when one is distracted by the discomfort of rebellious intestines, when one has someone to talk to. It had really been a lonely, desolate, LONG race.
But my time was right on: D calculated that for me to run Albany in 4:50, I would have to run today's 15K in 1:40. My time was 1:39 something. Not my fastest 15K, I don't think, but a decent run, all in all, nonetheless.
And, AND I came in second in my age group. :) Because there were TWO of us. But they gave me a medal, anyway.
OH. The title of this post? Tapir. That funny elephant-like animal. It's what I think of when we TAPER, or reduce our mileage every three weeks. I'm really looking forward to the tapir. Taper. Because I'm tapir. I mean tired. *sigh*
Posted by mryonker at 08:12 PM | Comments (2)
August 16, 2007
spider pig...spider pig...
...does whatever spider pig does. I've got a stack of "to-do" stuff to, uh, DO today: recommendation form/letter for former student. Teaching statement/philosophy. Design/compile professional web page (no, shocking as it is, I don't have one). Contact old institutions to get copies of my transcripts on file here with career services. Grade a few last papers and submit grades for the summer class I taught. And the list continues, to include writing a page or two on my diss (which is only slowly eeking out of me--waiting for the deluge here!!).
And what am I doing? That sad little thing that makes us human, while we wait to die. I am making D calculate my goal time for the 15K this weekend based on my goal pace for the Albany marathon. I am reading my favorite new blog, learning about proper bus-riding protocol in China. Reading the most recent Kripalu catalog. Browsing (and pining for) clothes at Eileen Fisher. Taking the kids to the pool. Lamenting that it's getting dark earlier and earlier...
Posted by mryonker at 10:58 AM | Comments (3)
August 15, 2007
open letter to todd baum*
Dear Todd,
My crazy running partner has somehow talked me into running the GLER with her next week. I suppose it's some kind of revenge she's exacting to get me back for dragging her to our first marathon a few years ago. Since then she has emerged as an amazing runner: fast, well-disciplined, dedicated, goal-oriented. And she wakes up early in the morning with pretty much no effort (something I still struggle with--though I'm nowhere near as bad as that Amy who was on Dr. Phil yesterday).
Anyway, since this is our first ultra, I've got a few questions for you. And since you have trained for and finished the Badwater Ultramarathon (congrats, btw!), I figure you can tell me what I need to know.
What should I be eating? Really. Because we are running so much right now that when I'm at home I'm either laying on my couch or laying in my bed. I don't even have the energy to be hungry, much less CHEW anything. When we stop during our longer runs, I find my jaw and tongue become exhausted masticating a warm Power Bar. And I can also feel the energy it takes to work my jaw sapping energy from my legs.
How much bigger do you buy your running shoes? Because it seems as though there is a proportionate relationship between the number of hours I run and the amount of swelling my feet do. So, if my feet swell to a half-size bigger after a 10K, can I expect them to be 2.5 sizes bigger after the 50K? And what, then, should I do in the beginning to compensate for the extra room? I'm thinking extra Thor-Los.
We're hoping that there is a Pizza Hut on the route. If not, we're willing to meet a delivery person on the trail, a la Dean Karnazes, and we're hoping this will not be a problem. Will I be able to get a cell signal so we can order en route?
It says that the aid stations are "well-stocked." I expect that this means you'll have a pair of fresh legs for me every 8 miles, right? Because how else on earth am I going to finish? I mean, really.
Most importantly: what can I do during this run so that my lovely running partner does NOT set her sights on the 100K for next year?
Thanks a bunch.
Madeline
*Todd Baum is the race director for the Green Lakes Endurance Run (GLER), the 50K D and I are (probably stupidly) running in less than two weeks.
Posted by mryonker at 10:33 AM | Comments (0)
August 12, 2007
surprise!
When I got back from visiting my mom this week, I had a big surprise waiting for me: B replaced our countertops, tore out some ugly grey plastic (!) backsplash tile and hung drywall and painted, and installed a new range hood.
Now my kitchen is puurrty.
Posted by mryonker at 04:55 PM | Comments (2)
August 11, 2007
oswego harborfest 10K
I've been lazy in posting race reports this summer, probably since we've run so many. I completely skipped blogging the Swamp Rat in June, which was momentous in that my near-60-year-old mother ran it with my sister--a first for both of them.
And I'm about 2 weeks overdue in posting about Oswego's Harborfest 10K, but it was such a great day that I'll write a little anyway.
After a bit of drama in trying to pick up our packets a few days early (D trekked to the Oswego YMCA the Thursday before, as we were instructed to do so in the paperwork, and was laughed at when she asked to pick up our packets--they were experiencing a bit of technical difficulty, it seems, in putting together the race packets), we figured we would simply arrived early and hope that the race people had everything together by race morning. We worried a bit that we would not receive shirts, as the race info said that only the first 250 runners registered would get shirts. But lucky we were, and we were happy to find our packets did indeed have pleasant colorful shirts. Much to our chagrin, though, the ads on the back included one for Hell*Mart (or Wal*Hell, if you prefer).
The race did not have chip timing, a first for us. We weren't sure how that would affect the start--would runners be super rude, pushing to the front since there would be no "net time" to offset the time-lag often mid- and back--of-the-pack runners experience? We were also worried that since D saw a big sign at the Y earlier in the week that pleaded for more volunteers for the race that the water stations would be understaffed, or worse, non-existant.
The weather was perfect: overcast. And the course, which was described as "undulating," was darn right mountainous.
But something strange is happening to me. When I run a race these days, my old easy-going, "I'm just here for the bagels at the end" attitude is replaced with a "I wonder how fast I can go today?" and a "I wonder which of these runners I can beat?"
So when the horn went off, I took off. And the hills were bad, but none as bad as the infamous St. Albert's hill in Council Bluffs which I spent the first week of July running. And the water stops were plentiful, the course well-marked for the most part, and I ran hard. And according to D, whose Google skillz now rival my own when it comes to tracking down race results, I ran a...dang. Now I can't find it. It was a 56 I think, 56:58, something like that.
I was fast as, as D would say, sheeee-it. Although, D was much faster than me, but I don't know her time, either. Under 50, I'm sure, as that was her goal and she frequently PRs.
And the great J, who ran the 5K, also PRed on the hilly course. And I would have taken an "after" pic, but my dumb camera battery died. Or I had it in backwards. Or something.
Posted by mryonker at 01:12 PM | Comments (1)
August 08, 2007
easy quick WV post
You know you're in West Virginia when:
The local pop station plays "Jungle Love" by Morris Day and the Time after "Summer Love" by Justin Timberlake.
When you signal to make a left turn, the car immediately behind you will put his signal on as well (and probably the person behind him will do so, too), so that any other cars behind *them* know they shouldn't try to pass.
The speed limit on the interstate is 70, but you can barely do 55 on some of the climbs through the mountains.
At the end of many driveways, there is a large wooden box frame on stilts, which are often concreted into the ground. The box is often covered in chicken wire or other reinforcement, but sometimes is simply made of plywood. The boxes have lids which are fastened shut tightly, either by padlock or other mechanism. Three guesses what the purpose of the box is.
You have to drive an hour for decent wireless, and by "decent" I only mean "a little bit faster than dial-up."
Cell phone signal = joke.
You are in the midst of the most beautiful state parks in the East, even though you cannot pronounce their names--and nor can the locals when you ask them to parse for you. (Monongahela!)
You realize there is no better place to hike with children. Lots of boulders for them to scramble on, lots of rivers to dip their feet in, lots of mushrooms and creatures to discover, but light on the midday high-elevation storms.
The depth of the quiet, the thickness of stars: nighttime is enchanting, exhilarating.
You must ask the cashier at the grocery store to repeat herself three times when she inquires, "Are these gripes seedless?"
Posted by mryonker at 09:54 AM | Comments (2)